Wednesday, December 30, 2009

my new year began with my death

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                                        My new year began with my death.

   There i was, like the three others, 

kneeling on the ground,


                    waiting in the death row


              in the death row


              Hands tied behind our backs.

They grinned,

                 they chopped

                        and unto to the gound... 


                                                                     the heads rolled.

                                                                   The sharp blade rose above me

 ...... it was my turn.


                                                                                                  ...It was still darkness. 


And I was dead.



Lee Jietmin

         Weeks later I quitted my mouse-clicking job, graduated from a crash-course Relationship 101 with Jet Li(sponsored by the Creator of evolution and science), converted to a monk, my room was struck by lightning, then I played truant with Famous Amos and bleached their colored uniforms after that, lost my *precious* 4kgs of body mass (No need to clap, Anne-o-Rexia, i didn't do it on purpose.) and then I became a hypocrite tudung-clad friend.
 Be sure We shall test you with something of fear and hunger some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil) but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere. (Quran)

“Verily, with hardship comes ease." - Quran

On August, August arrived and stayed in AISHAH's heart... As for my brother, he found his Angeline and I,  I finally was able to say "I love my job," got a blue room, a new head of hair, and had learned a valuable understanding on acceptance, forgiveness, and a different glimpse of the creation named Love. :)

  Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed on an equal or greater benefit. - Napoleon Hill

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

believer's traits

  • 42:37 (Y. Ali) Those who avoid the greater crimes and shameful deeds, and, when they are angry even then forgive;

  • 42:38 (Y. Ali) Those who hearken to their Lord, and establish regular Prayer; who (conduct) their affairs by mutual Consultation; who spend out of what We bestow on them for Sustenance;

  • 42:39 (Y. Ali) And those who, when an oppressive wrong is inflicted on them, (are not cowed but) help and defend themselves.

  • Provision

    And He listens to those who believe and do deeds of righteousness, and gives them increase of His bounty: but for the unbelievers there is a terrible penalty.

    If Allah were to enlarge the provision for His servants, they would indeed transgress beyond all bounds through the earth; but He sends down in due measure as He pleases. For He is with His servants Well-Acquainted, Watchful.

    Whatever you are given is a convenience of this life: but that which is with Allah is better and more lasting: for those who believe and put their trust in their Lord.

  • 17:18 (Asad) Unto him who cares for this fleeting life We readily grant thereof as much as We please, to whomever it is Our will; but in the end We consign him to hell; [23] which he will have to endure disgraced and disowned! -

  • 17:19 (Asad) But as for those who care for the life to come, and strive for it as it ought to be striven for, and are believers withal [24] -they are the ones whose striving finds favour! 

  • 17:20 (Asad) All -these as well as those -do We freely endow with some of thy Sustainer's gifts, since thy Sustainer's giving is never confined 

  • 17:21 (Asad) Behold how We bestow more bounty on some of them than on others: but the life to come will be far higher in degree and far greater in merit and bounty.

  • 34:36
    Say: "Verily my lord enlarges and restricts the Provision to whom He pleases, but most men understand not."

    It is not your wealth nor your sons, that will bring you nearer to Us in degree: but only those who believe and work righteousness -- these are the ones for whom there is a multiplied reward for their deeds, while secure they in the dwelling on high!

    Say: "Verily my Lord enlarges and restricts the sustance to such of His servants as He pleases: and nothing do you spent in the least but He replaces it: for He is the Best of those who grant sustance."

    Monday, December 21, 2009


    Grandma smiled showing her white teeth when she saw me bald.A light warmed my heart that very moment. Such sweet, sincere smile, one that came from a non-judgmental mind but an amused one.

    It was my sister who helped me shave my head.
    My parents' reaction? "Bald? Ouh ok."

    Perhaps it was my mum's influence that freed my hands from the chain of gender-based stereotypes. I see it was nothing wrong for gals to be bald, and i felt like going bald, so i was free to do so.  (Most guys like gals with long hair and most gals like guys with short hair, i knew that. But what the heck,it was my head, my choice.) But society wasn't ready for this, and i wasn't brave enough, so i wore the head-scarf.

    Today was the first day the kids saw me without the tudung.

    Natalie, the 6-year-old kid commented,
    "Auntie, your hair is so so so so so not nice."
    then she proceeded to suggest some beauty tips.
     "First straighten your hair, then only you cut."
    "See, i straightened mine, that's why i let it down"

    "ouh~ nice." i replied after laughing, amused by her honesty and choice of words for being tactful. :)


    Being bald, wearing the head-scarf and having short hair is interesting. It's time to grow waist-length hair. :p

    Monday, December 14, 2009


    "Class, in a minute the president of the united state will enter this class. He'll have important message for kids from all the over the world. You are his news reporters/journalist, news writers."

    The kids paid attention.

    "When the Presidents talks, just listen. Erm, .. this president has.. *points finger towards head* short term memory, he'll repeat whatever he has just said. When he does that, that's when you write down what he's saying.

    After he repeated what he said, that's when you check again. We'll send your writings to the Star newspaper, Nan Yang Siang Pau and Malay newspapers."

    "Dictation againnn, Auntieee?"

    "Dictation from the president! Take out one pencil, one eraser and one ruler. I'll go and call the president now"

    The mentor went out from class,and after 30 seconds, she entered the class. Kids started to giggle.

    "Ehem! I am president Obama. I have an important message for you. Write it down!"
    More giggles.

    "Wednesday is the third day of the week. Today is Tuesday. *looks towards the whiteboard, note: Monday, 14/12/09*....

    ...I have three classes in a week. Where are you sitting? *looks towards a kid* She is sitting between the wall and the window.... "

    *more laughter*
    --Yeah, important message from Mr. Obama indeed.--

    Then the president began to forget things...

    "Ahh...What did i just say? ahhah! * Kids looked amused.. Mentor then repeated the sentences and kids started to take dictation*"

    I heart my job.

    Friday, December 4, 2009

    Somethings are better left unsaid.

    Again we were squabbling about the house chores. who's going to wash the dishes and who's going to do the laundry...

    "I hung several clothes."

    "Why did you do that?? It's her turn."

    "So, now you have to hang the clothes and do the dishes."

    "huhh.. no. I'll wash the dishes, and you'll hang them"

    "That time you said you were sick and then you laughed (so you didn't hang the clothes that day)"

    "I WAS sick."

    "*mumbled something unpleasant* ...buruk perangai."

    ** silent **

    A comeback was needed but some restrain was needed too, so the sibling said,
    "Good luck to you."

    ** silent **

    After some thoughts on the implication of that statement, another sibling replied,
    "Good luck to you too."

    ** silent **

    "... Thank you."

    And then the squabble ended.

    Monday, November 30, 2009

    Family member

    Make a sentence using the word "daughter."

    6 years old boy said, "When i go to Cosmotots, my daughter go to Singapore."
    Surprised by his sentence, i asked him, "What's a daughter?"
    He answered, "a girl."

    "W, it's your turn. Make a sentence with 'eat' "

    "I like to eat ZeHao because he always do me."
    "Follow Auntie. 'I'd like to eat ZeHao because he is always bullying me."
    At this, he laughed, amused by the word "bully"


    "Hi Auntie. You taught SH."
    "You're SH's sister?"
    "How's SH doing?"
    "I tell you ah, he is very very very stupid."

    Ah, no wonder he had low self-esteem in class.

    Thursday, November 26, 2009

    Kids are my mentors.

    "Do you like kids?"

    "i donno."

    "If you like kids, you will like this job."

    I think what she meant at that time was, kids will be the reason for hanging on to the job regardless the stress from trying to be a facilitator (with good interpersonal skill); a brave public speaker dealing with blunt, outspoken, rebellious audience; a survivor of attacks from viruses roaming the class rooms, a spontaneous entertainer; a merciful, patient mentor; and a well read clerk -- all in one body.

    She's right. It's the love for kids that keeps a teacher a teacher. :)

    Wednesday, November 25, 2009


    Sept - DQ class - Mentor: "What is a knight?" S.H: "Ehhh, a knight is like this ahh.. *rapid hand movements* whacchaa zup cha! cha! cha!"

    - S.H: "Auntie Aimi, why today you no wear your sunglasses one?"

    October - DQ class. A squire takes good care of the knight. Kids read: "A squirrel takes good care..."

    17/11 -- Mentor: "Sit properly or i'll cut your points!" 6 y/0 W: "You baby!" *shows a fist to the mentor*

    24/11 -- 7 y/o W fell from the stool more times than usual -- in front of the pretty girls. Attention seeker, you!

    25/11 -- Teenager Q almost fall asleep during the review but was soon energized by the group work. He did some random Tae Kwan Do moves, and then he turned round and round like a small tornado. Mentor: "Q, what were you doing?" Q was speechless.

    -- Mentor: "Details! Details!" Teen J replied: "ok. The story's s*ck because Ben said it s*cks because Bryn said it s*cks because -the character- had to do all the hardwork." Mentor: "wow."

    -- Teen: "Auntie, what is that red thing on your nose?" Mentor:"Isn't it obvious it's a pimple?"

    Saturday, November 21, 2009

    Dreamer i am.

    A beggar came to our table and well, begged he did. I was fishing for a dollar from my pocket but a friend of my gave a good suggestion. "Let's us buy him lunch," she said. And so we did. Half an hour later, we saw him on our way back to the office, begging from one restaurant to the next.

    "Instead of giving food, it would be better if we can offer him a job" at this, my friends laughed. "Offer him a job? what job? Let him be a mentor?" one said.

    "I would hire him to do my paperwork and clerical work, so that all i have to do is facilitate the class."

    Well, may be in the future. :p For now, i shall only dream.
    It doesn't hurt to dream.

    Aunt Sally on her last day at Cosmotots, gave each one of the mentors a little card with a message in it. Mine was, "one heart cannot use for two." It was in Mandarin. I guess she's right. Having too many expectations only stress me out and distract me from focusing during meetings.

    "All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible." - from Lydell's FB profile

    Tuesday, November 17, 2009

    Sunday, November 1, 2009


    Ah, life.
    It's short.

    I wonder how it would be like, without the internet for a month?
    Starting tomorrow.

    Sunday, October 18, 2009


    mind could see

    two corner-pieces of

    the whole jigsaw-puzzle's picture.

    but only few
    could see
    how two, seemingly contradictory,
    elements work

    in harmony.

    Tuesday, September 29, 2009

    Wednesday, September 23, 2009

    "There are no accidents"

    As much as i like to write personal stuff, in a conversational style, well.. just not today. Today i feel a little poetic.

    When something is meant to happen, it will --like a swallow glides with the wind beneath its wings.

    Like a pawn on the chess board, gains a sword and slashes and dashes on the white and black tiles, until it stands staring the king, anticipating what comes next. But all the while surprised how all things turned out. It wasn't the pawn who has planned its move, but the master planner.

    The wings glide,
    but without the wind,
    they could glide not.

    The pawn dashes and slashes,
    but without its team mates' consent,
    it could not dash and slash.

    The wind could bare to hold its strength
    and lay quiet
    but the swallow came,
    the wind felt like swirling along,
    and so together they become one.

    The pawn was full of enthuasism,
    its mates wanted to rest and watch,
    and so together they won.

    It's about timing...
    but more so it is destiny.